improvement?hek

dat day,when hinata was absent i sat at her place.her neighbour asked me bout me n him.she said she realy didnt undrstnd y i stil stick wif him.she told all her points of arguments dat she had in mind.its like she was trying to hasut me to dont like him.i was kinda used to it now.if sumone said dat to me a year n a half ago,maybe i could be affected.but now its like a natural thing to hear.sincerely,evn i dont know y i stil stick wif him.he is totally opposite from ma dream guy.ciahh.y wud he b ma dream guy in d first place.o evn any other gurls if dey knw him.its normal for anyone to be shocked when dey hear dat im wif him.it wudnt even crossed their mind dat i wud chuz him.d neighbour said dat he was very lucky to hv me.even when i said dat those words didnt affect me anymo but at times ma patience do reach its limit.wat people sae bout him r true.wel maybe not all of dem.only some.like d annoying part.he alwiz do dat to me.annoy me purposely.im used to it.but like i said.at times ma patience do reach its limit.n dat time im really fedup wif him.its tiring u knw.i think maybe his chromosomes has more 'annoying' genes thn normal people.haha.but i guess at times he does know how to make up the times dat he screwed.like yesterday.he actually tried to console me!dats a bizzare thing if it comes from him coz he's not d type who console people afte he had annoy dem.d fact dat he did try to console me n being cute at d same time kinda touching.haha.ok.cut d crap.

wat iz heppeneng?

ok.let start from i-dont-know-when.today i chnge ma language.muahaha.xcited sgt r konon.byk sgt nk cter smpi da tatau ayt bi pe nk karang.dat day i said to him dat he neva cnfes fce to fce to me.he said yea n then die chnge topic.thn a couple of days l8r,i asked hm whn die nk cnfes fce to fce to me.die ty cnfes pe?so i said la cnfes tu la.thn he said he dowan!n he ony cnfes to da 1 he h8.i said dats d oppo.its not d same.but he stil dowan.so i pretend to mrajok.haha.im not really angry dat time.but of course terase coz he neva cnfes fce to fce to me.wel.neva once a guy dare 2 say it straight to ma fce.haha.so.since he's ma first.i wnt hm to b da first.we stopped msg coz i hd 2syn class.dat n8 he called me n asked whether im angry.n tried to pujok me la kre nye(gaye nye cmtu).haha.thn.d big day arrived.d nex day i had chem b4 recess n bio afte recess.afte recess he took ma fwen's chem book n suddenly teach me chem.i know how to do but i just listen to what he said.saje en.haha.thn whn im already l8 for bio i started to get up n took ma books.he told me to wait 4 a while.he went in front n i followed him.he looked doubtful n seemed like kumpulkn his courage n sae it.muahaha.i ws smiling frm ears 2 ears.but i asked him.ad prsn ke x nie.he said ad la.hak3.so basically im kinda happy2 since dat day smpi sumone said im 'kebahagiaan' skng.hek.taley blah.n there's dat day whn he ws sitting nex to meh.cloze.literally.oh man.im mad.mucha gracias.walawalawalawalawala...

clear as crystal

that day after we f8, he apologised.i said its ok as i dnt wnt to make a fuss.but.he said sumthing that relive ma inner heart.ma inner emotions.sumthing that i have been dreading to hear but never want to admit that its what i want the most.sumthing that is sincerely said from his heart.sumthing that he sae without a will to play ma heart.sumthing that he really sae truthfully.i was shocked.truly shocked when he sae it.i really didnt xpec dat he wud sae that.i guess i had locked up ma emotions until i cnt cntain dem.i tried not to burst into tears.but i failed.when he sae it i was hpy.no doubt.n now i think im clear wif ma feelings.no Q bout it.but its only 4 me 2 know.

what do u xpec me to do??

i'm feeling so numb rite now...
u know.last thursday one of ma guy friend told me sumthing that i did not xpect from him.he said that that guy n me r good together.we look good together.he said our faces match??i can hardly accept that one.how can u say sumone match just by looking at their faces?i cant get the hang.n of course he added,xcept 4 d height.heh.well.as usual.i told Kay bout what i knew.i always told him.its like a habit of mine.he laughed when he heard but when it came to d height part he was kinda fedup.i dont blame him.people always judged his height.me?i already thout about it when i first fell 4 him.i cnsidered bout it already.so now.i didnt think much of it.i neva made it an issue b4.but i had thout bout it.it made me self-concious whenever i'm around him.i admit its better if he's taller.but like a said.i neva had made it an issue.i told him dat.but then he replied dat he neva believe what a girl sae bout him.n again.ego striked.i told Kay dat i dnt believe anyone including him.r8 then he said he didnt mind.but he cut d chat after dat.just now he sent me a msg.he wana said dat he didnt believe what girl sae bout him excluding me.but whn i cnfessed like dat to him, it made him hurted.well.dats a surprise to me act.its a very rare event dat he decide to tell me what he really felt.i guessed it must hv hurted him vry much.i really cnt sae much bout dat.he made me feel dat way towards him.i'm not the same me anymore.not after he hurted me like i-dont-know-how-deep-the-wound-is.i dont look at him d same way like i looked d-first-time-i-really-felt-in-love-wif-him anymo.i just couldnt.if i did i will just shatter to d ground again.n i dnt wnt dat to happen.even if it means he has to be hurt.plus he kept lying to me.how does he xpect me to believe him?no can do ma man.y cnt he just be honest wif me?y cnt he protect the trust that i had given to him?sumting so precious is taken lightly.i just cnt accept dat.esp when i dnt trust people so easily.he is just so care-free.