yekk...

today,i dont know what to do..n i found one of ma mom's malay novels..ok sebab da bosan sgt kan so i think i can pick up the old hobby..bc novel melayu..but...i cant!ayat die terlaluuu JIWANG!n i cant take it anymore..ok dulu boley la..i dont really mind the language tp!! now i dont think i can read anymore novel melayu yang menggunakan ayat yg sebegitu jiwang dan meruntun hati dan perasaan....eeww!!i feel disgusted now to read those kind of lines..rs sgt geli..urghh..why am i becoming like this??hmm..i think its due to some abnormal situation that i had encountered with guys that make me feel this way...i never knew those impacts could be change me so much thou..coz i've never given it much thought..huhu...

a few days back zati post sumthing kat fb on ma wall..its a Q dat she answered..the Q is 'what do u think hafizah needs most?' well sumthing like this la Q die..n zati jwb..guys..........n farisa agreed..errr....but i dont really think so chere amies....i have had enaf to do with guys.....so much tihngs had happen in highschool regarding guys....yea my world evolves around guys.....so dats why i think ive had enaf....well for now...........seems like i always get into heart troubles when im close to one...soooo....i really dont think that what i need most right noow is guys..........u both shud know very well the reason why..........................

new/no-more neighbour

this post is especially dedicated to my new n no-more neighbour..

he had helped me a lot through out this year..he was there most of the time when i needed him..sincerely i depended a lot on him this year..dari dok sebelah yy..i ended up dok sebelah die..wondered what fate had in for me back then..i fought a lot with him awal2..cant really say i can stand him..most of the time i cant..n i ended up crying..really..i lost count already..but im not lying when i said he helped me a lot..he helped me in my studies..he became my partner in class..he make my class life colourful n dark at the same time..he listened to what i say n remembers..that the most important thing..he remembers..sometimes i dont even remember what i said..at times he shocked me..

i have another friend who is like him..though the other person has more heart in his soul..i think..so i developed a way in order to make this kind of friendship remain stable..which is to be open..n just say what's in my mind..no white lies..no hidden agenda..be honest..so throughout this whole year i kept being honest with my new/no-more neighbour..he is an analytical person..most of the time i cant lie to him..especially when im sick(which is a looott)..thats when he treated me extra nice..with chocolate sauce to top it off..when im lost in making decisions,he gave me advice that no one thought he could gave..no one is perfect..that is absolutely true..but he can be a whole lot better person if only he has a heart in him..that is the most important thing that he lacks..through out his whole life..he never had one..i look forward to the day when he does..

one of the things i like bout him is he controls his life 100%..if he say white then its white..if its black then its black..he dont give a damn bout what people say..n he's a loner..very true indeed..a pure loner..no wonder he doesnt hv a heart..but i am quite surprise that i can be an influence in his life..not really sure if i am but due to certain situations i guess i am..kot..and i believe he is also sad to part ways like this..i know he dont have a heart but i kinda feel this way..i dont talk to him anymore..n i dont think i'll ever see him again..yet..but to stop our friendship coz he doesnt want to make me sad anymore?i say that's the most stupidest solution i had ever heard..but being him,this is the kind of way he can ever think of..n would ever do..but for him to think of me,not to make me sad anymore?that is one of the sweet things he did for me..the most i guess..

i gave him a nickname on his birthday..mr house+bean..coz he is as annoying as house n as goofy as bean..i know i will miss him but i think i can live through this..i dont hate him for doing this..n he did keep his promise to give me the surprise..but u failed to make me cry in happiness though..the stimulation is not strong enough..i really appreciate what u did for me..thanks for everything u did..thanks for being my friend..thanks for being by my side when im down..when im at lost..when im sick..when u think for my sake..huuu..there's just too much to say to a friend who is no longer one..i'll try not to think of u too much..coz if i do i cry..but i wont be in the corner hugging my knees like u say..dats just too creepy..last but not least,i sincerely love u as one of my dearest friend..coz like i said to certain someone,ure the first guy to know me so well..well there another one but ure one of them..take care..

ali bin abi talib

semalam aku ngadu im bored..so my dad said..kan ad byk buku tu dlm almari tu..bc la..so aku aku bc one..buku ali bin abi talib by abdul latip talib..n i just finished reading it..i learned some things that i always wanted to know n certain things are made clear..aku slalu tepikir..why is it in all the school books they say that ali xd sumbangan sgt.. i mean he is the khalifah right..n why his sumbangan is only 'terima jwtn khalifah time negara huru-hara'??when i read that book i guess there are too much things that he did during the huru-hara time that just seems too unimportant or too hard to be classified as sumbangan in his era..

i dont know if anyone remember dat khalifah uthman bin uffan was killed by puak penentang..i never knew that the penentang was islam also..n man when they say dat uthman ikut ckp fam die it was true n i just couldnt believe my eyes when i read bout it..but i guess its not my place to say anything in the first place..so lets just keep ma thoughts to maself..n there's saiditina aisyah..why on earth did she enter the perang jamal??a woman in perang..i never could get that around in ma head whe i first learn bout it..well now i know..org islam yg tricked her to get her to basrah..in order to gain the basrahians' support in jatuhkan khalifah ali..their reason is want to tuntut bela for kematian uthman n ali didnt kill his killer..so they got pissed off..i was quite pissed at the people who tricked saiditina aisyah..

i mean saidina ali didnt even want the jwtn in the first place..n he didnt even kill uthman..malah even protect him..n he didnt kill the killer coz he said he was not oblige to kill the killer(not ma place again to say anything)..n dorg tuduh him tlibat dgn pmbunuhan uthman plak..what the fish??n then there's bout zubair b awwam n talhah b abdullah..they are two of the ten people that rasulullah confirm masuk syurga..i mean at last they didnt perang with ali in perang jamal..so why the heck do the tentera in ali's team killed them for???shessshhh..i was so pissed..the one who killed zubair was islam..he took all zubair's belongings nk bg hadiah kt ali..he didnt accept..malah he said whoever killed zubair msk neraka..waaaaa..islam pegi perang suppose to masuk syurga aint they..n he ended up masuk neraka........byk yg aku xpuas hati but i guess this is enough to hilangkan my saket hati..

there's this perbualan in that book..i dont remember who asked saidina ali..he asked the people whoo perang with them are they musyrikin..ali said they are the people who run from musyrik..then are they munafik..ali said munafik is people who menyembunyikan kekufuran dorg..then who are they?well..they are orang islam yang melampaui batas..i guess no matter what happen we just cannot kafirkan orang islam yang lain..n y on earth do i wrote bout these things anyway?spm kan da habis..not like i m going to take course agama lps nie..well i wana ask u one Q(cikgu shabby ALWAYS asked us)..kamu nak A ke nak ilmu?hisyam would say both of course..haha..well life is all bout learning babe..even if spm is over doesnt mean these things arent important ayte?

miss

spm just ended two days ago..and i oredy miss everyone..i miss the ketua kelas n his gentleman manner..i miss panjang with his laughable rambling..i miss jona n his bajetness..i miss farh n her kepohness..i miss cikgu shabby n his eyes n tones..i miss nashh n her tiger rawrr..i miss romeo guy n his 'damn'..i miss syeikh n his weird-using-name-languange..i miss bahriah n his sakainess..i miss adam n his blurness..i miss ku n her 'berpaling muka' attitude..i miss one-ny n her kecohness..i miss awk n his recogniseable laugh..i miss my neighbour n his analytical skills..literally i just miss hanging out with ma frens..waaaaa..